Infertility Isn’t for the Faint of Heart

Infertility Isn't for the Faint of Heart wendylmacdonald.com

Unless you’ve personally experienced infertility, it’s often wise to zip your lips when you’re with someone who is travelling this lonely road. A hug is much more welcome than glib words that have the potential to hurt an already vulnerable heart.

I wish I could have found an appropriate book to read on this topic when I was in the middle of my painful infertility journey. This is one of the reasons I want to have my memoir published.

It won’t be glib; it’ll be honest.

It won’t make you feel sorry for me; it will help you understand what many couples go through. And it will make you cry at the happy ending.

Today, I’m sharing a bit about my own infertility journey as a guest on Nan Jones’ blog. She’s an inspirational speaker, writer, and blogger I met on Facebook. I’ve read and reviewed her wonderful, award-winning memoir and have been following her ever since. She has a gift for encouraging women who are experiencing hurts and hardships. You’ll love her award-winning blog too.

By the way, her memoir is as poignant as they come. It’s a must read if you want to be motivated to pray for your pastor and his family. Church leaders need the body of Christ to surround them with protective prayers.

LOVE

Unless you’ve already been here

Please don’t share advice

Because my heart is broken

And I didn’t choose this way of life

Unless you’ve already been here

Please don’t minimize

The pain I feel is real

And so are the tears I’ve cried

Unless you’ve already been here

In the land of grief and despair

Wrap your praying arms around me

And let your love show me you care.

Wendy/2017

 

Rejoice with those who rejoice;

mourn with those who mourn.

Romans 12:15 NIV

 

Blessings of Compassion ~ Wendy

Here’s the link to my interview on Nan’s website: Where is God When Infertility Wants to Defeat You?

Infertility Isn't for the Faint of Heart wendylmacdonald.com

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40 thoughts on “Infertility Isn’t for the Faint of Heart

  1. Thank you for sharing. I know that it’s challenging. My husband and I tried for six years before we could conceive. We had gone through infertility treatments, cut out coffee, bought cookbooks for infertility…you name it. In the end, we ended up getting pregnant naturally. I recently started a blog to give back to others and to offer hope now that I can. I hope you get a chance to read it. God bless.

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          1. Awww, how old is your child now? I bet they were all very happy for you. It seems like it’s so easy for everyone to get pregnant and I’m sure they were happy to be apart of your miraculous story. I know our nurses were happy too delivering our miracle baby. I feel like I’m still holding my breathe sometimes like I will wake up and it all be a dream. I’m almost thankful for the struggle because I feel like I’ll never take her for granted.

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          2. My children are 22, 19, and 17. As you can see, I had a busy season of birthing three babies in a 5 year period. You’re right, you most likely won’t take her for granted. Life gets crazy at times–but I’m crazy in love with the Lord, my husband, and my kids. ❀

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          3. Secondary infertility can be almost or as painful. The secret to peace is finding it in Christ first. Life’s hardness presses us into the softness of His hands. I pray you have His peace no matter what you decide to do. ❀

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    1. If you were here in person, dear Linda, I would hug you. Yes, yes, and yes, those are two painful biggies–for sure. Anything to do with losing children is dreadfully difficult. Only God can comfort a grieving parent to the core of their hurting heart. ❀

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  2. Wendy, I went through this with my first husband. After many months of trying to have a baby we were both tested. We found out we were never going to have children. I remember the devastation, the loss, the sadness, the tears. Unfortunately, our marriage wasn’t strong enough to get through it. However, we both married others. He raised a step-daughter, and I was able to have two children. So it was a different kind of “happy ending.” But I will never forget that pain or the insensitive things people used to say to me. I’m going to read your story now. Good luck on getting your memoir published! πŸ™‚

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    1. Thank you for sharing a bit of your story with me, dear Patsy. Your mention of “the insensitive things people used to say…” makes me hope this post and my memoir educate others to be sensitive to the pain of infertility. I hope I never forget the struggle; I hope I remember to show empathy and grace towards those who are suffering in other ways too. ❀

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      1. You are welcome sweet Wendy! I think when you have suffered through it you do become more sensitive to the struggles of others. I already sense a lot of grace and empathy in you! Are you still writing your memoir or in the process of publishing it?

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          1. Finding a common thread or theme throughout a period of your life seems to be one of the guidelines. Writing deep rather than writing wide seems to be the secret. A memoir is a slice of a life and not an autobiography. It sounds like you’re wise to break it up. I already thought of three more memoirs I want to write. It would be way too much for me to write all my themes in one book. There’s a lot of online resources regarding how to write memoir. I’ve appreciated them–plus the books I’ve read and reviewed on Goodreads. Keep writing/rewriting.

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          2. You are so right, Wendy! I like the whole first part of what you said up to “autobiography.” In fact I read your whole message to my husband. He is doing a presentation on writing memoir to his Writer’s Forum group in September. He wanted to know if he could use that first part of what you said, quoting you, and possibly sharing a link to your blog. I love the way you said “memoir is a slice of life.” He loved when you said “Writing deep rather than wide seems to be the secret.” If you don’t want him to share this, that’s okay, too, of course! I appreciate your help. You’ve given me some things to think about! πŸ™‚ You keep up your writing/rewriting as well!

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  3. Oh my sweet sweet sister I understand. Im reminded of Hanna and Sarah and my sister who for ten years cried for a child and finally God heard and answered. It is a difficult road to walk. I pray for Gods grace to overshadow you and keep you through every step. I love you and I’m praying with you.

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  4. I read Childless is Not Less also, but the greatest comfort came from my own time with the Lord. It is a pain no one understands unless they have been there.

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    1. Norma, I’m with you in that: “It is a pain no one understands unless they have been there.” Even the Bible acknowledges the depth of this pain in several passages. Yes, God is the greatest Comforter. xo

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    1. Thank you, Karen. I found a secular book I liked. I don’t remember the title, but I appreciated it because the author was authentic and wrote the truth of how she felt. She made me feel less alone–less crazy. Sometimes inspirational writers forget to include enough of the dark moments and they skip ahead to preaching. Mourning souls need solace–not sermons. I hope to be a solace and inspiration to those who feel alone. ❀ Acknowledging someone's pain softens their heart and opens their ears to hear hope. God is hope. I'll look up the book you mentioned–I'm curious how she handled the topic–with a name like "Love." πŸ™‚

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      1. All of that seems so long ago to me and yet it comes back fresh to the surface in an instant. All the well meaning people who said things that made it worse. To weep with those who weep is really a much needed gift. I look forward to seeing your memoir.

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