The Irresistible Truth of How to Win Your Man (and keep him)

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Irresistible

Admiration shone from her eyes

 blinding him to his own imperfections

so that he was empowered to climb

the mountain of their love

and shout from the summit

 his devotion to the one

who believed

in him.

~

Wendy ❀ 2015

~

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Over the years I’ve listened to a lot of Christian radio broadcasts

about family life and marriage.

When I hear a quote that especially speaks to me,

I like to write it down on a piece of paper and memorize it.

~

One day I wrote down three magic words: admire, appreciate, and accept.

~

I’ve memorized these words.

I needed to.

I wanted to gift these verbs to my husband

through my actions.

Years ago we hit a dry spell in our marriage

while our lives were busy parenting 3 children 5 yrs and under.

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Let’s face it–nobody marries someone else unless they see

some reasonable semblance of these three magical words.

acceptance ~ admiration ~ appreciation

And after they’re married these actions are more important than ever

(yes, this applies to both partners).

~

Spouses may stray or be tempted to stray if these are missing at home

(no it’s not a valid excuse for emotional or physical adultery).

~

There’s nothing more irresistible to a man

than a woman who’s in love with him.

~ the Baroness in The Sound of Music    

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It’s my job to love and respect Billy;

it’s God’s job to make him good.

~ Ruth Bell Graham

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Now it’s your turn to tell me about a great marriage book,

marriage blog or marriage quote.

I love romantic happy endings.

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Dare to share in the comments?

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Irresistible Blessings ~ Wendy ❀

~

A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown,

but a disgraceful wife is like decay to his bones.

Proverbs 12:4

~

Husbands, love your wives

and do not be harsh with them.

Colossians 3:19

~

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57 thoughts on “The Irresistible Truth of How to Win Your Man (and keep him)

  1. These three little words carry such deep resonance on how to express and renew love. Like everything in life we must both work individually and collectively to protect our relationship in marriage, to nurture it and to keep it thriving and growing. Talk, laugh and spend time together in a close bond of affection. At the end of the day – love is all there is. Enjoy a blessed and happy Easter.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Mary, I’m so glad you mentioned laughing together. It’s definitely one of the keys to “a close bond of affection.” And I agree wholeheartedly that “At the end of the day–love is all there is.” I’m so glad for the love of God, family, and friends. Blessings on your Easter weekend. ❀

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  2. Wendy, this is so well-written that I can’t think of a single thing to add to it. I do quite a bit of marital counseling. I love Ruth Graham’s quote : It’s her job to love Billy, God’s job to make him good. If there’s one principle I could tattoo on every married person’s heart, it would be “Changing him/her is not my job. It’s God’s.”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Linda. What an honor to get a compliment from a marriage counselor. By the way, great tattoo idea you have. ❀ It must be so rewarding to see people who finally ‘get it’ at counseling. I’ve had a few aha moments listening to the radio or reading a book–always a good thing.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. What it really boils down to is respect and appreciation. This is what every individual needs or they will become bitter, or wither and die. Paul and I had our bumps at the beginning of our relationship, mostly due to my painful baggage and fear of trusting another man. Thankfully, our marriage has been mostly smooth sailing ever since. I love happy endings too, Wendy. 🙂

    Great post! x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Jennifer, I agree that it “…boils down to…respect and appreciation.” These are necessary in all relationships. I can relate to the “fear of trusting.” Our childhood experiences can affect our trust factor. ❀

      I’m blessed to be married to someone who isn’t perfect–but is perfect for me (and vice versa for me to him). By the way, I think you and Paul make a beautiful couple. I really enjoyed the post you did awhile back about your love story. Yes, happy endings are the best. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  4. This is beautiful, Wendy. We’ve gone through those dry seasons, too. I think we all face it. But, like you said, we have to keep those verbs in play … follow through in obedience, and trust God to allow our hearts to follow, too. I love those verbs. xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Shelli, I love how you worded that: keep those verbs in play… ❤

      God wants to bless us, That's what I keep finding out. We need to stick to something long enough to receive the gifts, whether it's marriage or our writing journey. ❀

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    1. Christine, I remember a survey that followed a group of couples and found that five years after a rough spell the ones that had stuck it out were happier than ever. Sadly some couples miss out on the blessing due to a lack of commitment.

      But some couples really shouldn’t stay together because of emotional or physical abuse. ❀ I love your happy ending comment. ❤

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  5. Because of the nature of my husband’s work, we spent more time apart than together in the first 15 years of our marriage. These last 15 years of my husband’s retirement, we have hardly spent anytime apart. Acceptance and compromise seem to have come naturally, but I have to say my husband is the one who excels at appreciation. I don’t know of any particular book on marriage but enjoyed all of Anne Morrow Lindbergh’s diaries. And I greatly admire the Queen and Prince Philip’s relationship.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve always treasured Anne Morrow Lindbergh’s book,: Gift from the Sea. And when I think of the Queen and Prince Philip, mutual respect comes to mind. She is such an elegant and purposeful lady.

      I wish Princess Diana had lived long enough to see her grandson. ❀ I remember seeing her visit my hometown (even from a distance she was beautiful). She is my favorite of the royal family (and the Queen Mother). ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Wendy I love these three words and will keep them close. I guess when I look at marriage I read a quote somewhere that said
    Love is not just looking at each other, it’s looking in the same direction.
    Antoine de Saint-Exupery, Wind, Sand and Stars, 1939
    That way we keep connected and have the same goals and wishes for our partnership. Thanks for inspiring me with three simple words and of course your beautiful photos.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Kath. And I really like the quote that you included.

      Having a shared goal or adventure is ideal since men typically prefer side-by-side activities over staring into each other’s eyes for too long. So it’s good if we mix it up with both. ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  7. These are beautiful words of truth! I love being in love with my husband, and I am very blessed. I think in addition to the three words, accept, appreciate, admire, we could add respect. Or maybe it is that out of those three words comes respect 🙂
    I especially liked the quote by Ruth Graham – she was a very wise woman 🙂
    Thanks for sharing and encouraging me with these words!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Becky, respect is to men what love is to women. Your husband is very blessed to have a wife who understands this. I noticed a huge difference in my husband’s demonstration of love when I began to earnestly practice respect after having read the book, Love & Respect by Emerson Eggerichs. It’s my favorite marriage book ever. ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Encouraging words Wendy. I often hear that the divorce rate is high among families with multiple children. The pressures of care taking and making it through the day can get overwhelming. This was a refreshing read.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Bupe Rose. I remember a Focus on the Family broadcast that suggested it was better to spend money on making memories (such as going on a date) than buying new drapes or furniture. Babysitters cost–but it’s cheaper than a divorce (I took the baby with us because of breastfeeding). Sometimes we’d set up a movie and popcorn night at home when we couldn’t afford to go out–or we’d take a thermos of tea or hot chocolate to a nearby beach. The trick is to find out what works and keep doing it. Blessings on your family. ❀

      Liked by 1 person

        1. We have three teens now, and so it’s easy to get out together. But we find that we need to get up early to have ‘time alone’ at home. And our teens know that the first ten minutes my husband and I spend in the den each evening is our time to be with just each other so we can debrief from the day. The best thing we can do for our kids is to love each other first and well. I’m praying that my kids will have strong marriages, too, when their turn comes. You’re so right about ‘making the effort and keeping it simple.’

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          1. Bupe, I think the secret to raising teens as fearlessly as possible is to stay close to the Lord. And it helps to have a godly friend who has already been there. A close friend that I’ve had since childhood not only prays for me and my family, but she assures me that I’m on the right track. I’ve watched her over the years, and her example of grace and not sweating the small stuff has taught me much. There’s a lot of love, laughter, and learning mixed in with the scary moments of raising teens. ❀ God is good.

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  9. Wendy, this is such a lovely truth to remember, something I am striving for in this my second chance at married life, and ever so grateful to experience so much from in a very loving and giving husband. By the way, love The Sound of Music quote! Always been one of my favorites.:)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Marisa, this advice is for couples (like you two) that have basic goodwill. Sadly there are spouses who need the shakeup of a separation or a divorce because they are so ill-willed. I’m thankful to be married to a good-willed man too. ❀

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  10. Mary and I have only been married for 30 years so we’re still trying to figure it out 🙂
    Great post, Wendy. I especially like this line: “Irresistible Admiration shone from her eyes blinding him to his own imperfections so that he was empowered to climb the mountain…” I paused to think about that and it’s SO true and very profound.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Bill. I’m glad you caught that. So many people have accomplished goals they never thought they could because someone believed in them. But of course the best motivation of all is that ‘I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Phil. 4:13’ We tend to focus on our flaws; love believes. ❀ Yay for you and Mary on 30 yrs.

      Liked by 1 person

I enjoy a word in season, so I'd love it if you added an apple to the bowl.

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